Heard any good ones lately? You can submit yore own folklore at the bottom of this page and win a free dinner if it gets used!
THE POFOLKS ALMINAK
PoFolks' Facts: In some parts of the United States, folks never have drunk out of a fruit jar. We are doin' our best to educate them, but we need yore help! Most people don't realize the historical significance of the fruit jar...
Way back before the War Between the States, some surveyors were hired to lay out some boundary lines. Two of the most important folks doin' this was Mr. Dixon and Mr. Mason. They went across the country from East ta West layin' out their lines. They got awful thirsty sometimes while stuck out in the woods. They was drinkin' out of two ol' jelly glasses that looked alike. Mr. Dixon was a real particular feller and was real careful about not drinkin' after anybody else. So they were always arguin' about who's glass was which and not spendin' much time working.
One day, their boss had enough, and so he called 'em in to talk and git it settled. He said, "If you fellas don't quit worryin' about these jelly glasses, we won't never git finished with surveyin' this line before the war starts. Now Dixey," (he called Dixon Dixey 'cause it made his eyes bulge) "you and Mason just throw the jelly glasses away. Here's a cup for you and a jar for Mason. Now git gone and git done!" Well, sure enough, that did the trick. Before long, Mr. Dixon and Mr. Mason got the lines drawn and their job done.
But we should be real thankful for that long-forgotten boss who came up with Dixey's cup and Mason's jar so we could use the Mason-Dixon Line to tell the South from the North. Otherwise, we'd all be eatin' cream o' wheat instead of grits!
Last Year, Seth Aiken set a "World's Chicken Eatin' Record" at the PoFolks in Panama City, Florida. He ate 9 drumsticks, 12 breasts, 11 thighs and 22 wings all at one meal, breaking the previous record set by PoFolks Operating Partner Bobby Hicks. Since then, all Seth has done is cackle and eat a little corn. His wife reckons as how she ought to take him to the doctor, but she says she needs the eggs...
If all the politicians in the world were laid end to end, there sure would be a lot of lyers.
The True Story of the "Moon Pie": Chocolate covered crust with a marshamallow middle. Boy howdies they are good! Most everybody has eaten and enjoyed a moon pie and most everybody knows the more you eat them, the arounder' you get. And most everybody knows that the CHATTANOOGA BAKING COMPANY right here in Chattanooga, Tennessee produces all of the "domesticated" moon pies there are. But not many people know that the CHATTANOOGA BAKING folks have succeeded in duplicatin' what Mother Nature originally made all by herself. You see, the moon pie is a fruit! Yep, and it grows on a bush. The PIUS UNUS MOONUS BUSH. This bush only grows one place in the whole wide world--the southern slope of Lookout Mountain right here in Chattanooga!
This bush blooms once a month and that's when the moon is full. That's how the moon pie got it's name to begin with. It's a good thing the Baking Company figured out how to domesticate the wild moon pie bush. It used to be you had to go out in the light of the full moon before the sun came up and the dew settled. You had to put those little plastic wrappers on the blooms before the fruit got bit and they fell off.
Send us in quips, quotes, or stories about all things "southern homestyle" by e-mail. If we use yore dose of humor, we'll send you a certificate fer a free dinner! Send your submission to the home office by clicking HERE!
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